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To start the day off, I want to share some GOOD news!

To start the day off, I want to share some GOOD news!

A few days ago I asked all of you for back-up help, for one with PTSD that was really struggling that reached out to me, and I wanted to show her that she was not alone and there were many people here for her.

I received a message last night, and wanted to share this with you. I was told that with my intervention (not giving up on her and talking as long as it took) and all of the support she got from the “family” here, saved her life. I was told that if it had not been for all of us, she would not be here alive today.

BUT, she’s not here with us right now… She did contact her doctor and has accepted inpatient treatment. She was able to get one message to me, thanking all of us for honestly saving her life. She sounded very positive!  And said she will miss us while she is away, and miss our coffee time in the mornings, but she will be back once she gets out of the hospital.

So, I want to thank ALL of you for helping out and being here for each other. TOGETHER we are stronger! You proved that this past week. THANK YOU! YOU helped save one of our own! 🙂

 Love, Bec
A Spouse’s Story PTSD

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY “A Spouse’s Story PTSD”!…

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAYA Spouse’s Story PTSD“!

Three years ago today something very special happened, the birth of this page! Which has grown into a wonderful family, support system, and friendships have formed… even those who have not met each other from around the world!

Each day we meet here for coffee, or tea 😉 and we share parts of our lives with each other, the good, the bad, and just life itself. All with the same reasons… having others to talk to that understand, learning as well as teaching others, and just simply knowing that we are not alone in this world of #PTSD.

I am so thankful for every single one of you that are here with us. As good as I am with words, words can not be placed on the powerful strength this page has become. I never dreamed when I started this page, that it would grow into something so meaningful, and beautiful. Each of you are a part of that, each of you we consider as our “family“.

We all know that life with PTSD is not the easiest thing in the world, and can be a true roller coaster ride at times, but when people come together like everyone has here… PTSD just does not stand a chance! 😉 It’s not going away but we all sure have a huge support system to help each other understand and find things that can help. We have of support system of many hearts and many intelligent minds, and we work together to make life the best it can be. You ALL are awesome!!!

With every comment or email I receive, telling me how the words written helped one personally, helped a relationship or family, or saved a life that thought there was no other option but to give up… I see how important this family is here, I feel it, and I can not express how grateful I am to and for each of you. As much as you say my words help you, you need to know that you help me/us as well! It does go both ways! 

So before I get sappy here lol 😉

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to THIS FAMILY!

If you know someone who is struggling, or needs an extra support system, another place to learn or to bring a little more understanding about PTSD and life with or beside it. Please invite them to join us here. NO ONE deserves to feel like they are alone!

~Bec
A Spouse’s Story PTSD

 

Happy birthday and thank you for all the knowledge that you give us.” -Amy

Thank you Bec, for all you do for us” -Dede

Happy 3rd birthday! This page has been a God send!!” -Lynda

Wow! I didn’t realize you were barely an infant when I joined. What a blessing you and this group have been in my journey of trying to understand PTSD and why things are the way they are! God bless you, A Spouse’s Story PTSD, Becky, Craig and family.” -Carole

Thank you, everybody…especially to Bec…you help me understand me better…” -Joe

Thank you for EVERYTHING!! You have taught me so much about PTSD. 10 years ago my husband was diagnosed with chronic and severe ptsd…I didn’t know what that meant. What do I do? We have been married for almost 30 years, and I didn’t want to lose him. You have been my savior, my support, my everything. Thank you, keep up the good work.” -Laurel

Thanks so much! Very helpful and encouraging!” -Dakota

Thank you, I appreciate what you are doing.” -Bob

 

 

A special note from Lisa…

“Every morning after I get my 3 oldest off to school I get my coffee and read your morning post before my 2 little ones wake up, and every morning I feel like you are talking directly to me. I have to agree that once I started learning more about my husband PTSD we have much better communication and it is so much easier to understand why he does the things he does or says the things he says. Our relationship is so much better than it has been in a long time because of communication and sharing our feelings. Thank you!” ~Lisa

A Spouse’s Story PTSD

A very special note from Brett…

“U are an amazing lady n your husband n friends n family n all the millions of people on the net u help would be so proud of your courage n care n foresight. U have helped me every day that I read your posts. I was so close to suicide it was insane but oneday I found your site by accident n just knowing I am not alone in this saved my life . You actually saved my life. I thought here is someone who actually gets it and has empathy n a kind heart n great communication n listening skills. Now I read your posts all the time n although I am in Australia n you are on the other side of the world , your warm heart n care for people has definitely saved me for sure. Now I look after my four yr old son, attend a psych fortnightly n have the strength to make it. Before your Facebook site , I was always 12 hrs away from disappearing from this earth. You literally saved my life n u should be proud that you are an incredible woman who is strong n compassionate n someone who actually gets it totally. Your work has saved a lot of people I would guess. It definitely gave me the inspiration n the confidence n energy to continue on. You are a life saver. You shld be very proud n god bless such a beautiful caring story . You are welcome to share my message cause your info has helped n saved me, it will continue to save many others . Great people like u remind me that a bright future is always available when someone with PTSD has someone to talk n listen to. Thankyou for your help. My 4 yr old son would thank you as well for keeping his daddy going with hope n a feeling that I am not alone in all this. Kind regards, Brett”

A Spouse’s Story PTSD

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A note from L.L.

This has hit home for me! Because of your messages Bec that you share with us, I have realized even more symptoms and situations due to PTSD with my husband. And it’s helping me so much to understand him so much more…a lot of the time he doesn’t know how to put it all into words when we have our talks or he just doesn’t want to talk about it and shuts down. Thank you thank you thank you. And thank you to Craig for sharing his experience through you!” -L.L.

A Spouse’s Story PTSD

 

 

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A Spouse’s Story PTSD: Is there a book in the future?

Before I get harassment too much more (in a loving, supportive manner by the way,  NOT negative at all!), I am going to go ahead and address this openly. Over the past few years, I have been asked to write a book. Many of you are pushing for it really hard lol, and thank you!

I will be honest, I have put it off. I sit here each day and enjoy communicating with all of you, and I just keep “blogging” away trying to give that here and now personal views of what has helped us, explaining things from my point of view or what I have been educated on, and sharing our story, just hoping I help someone so they don’t have to walk in the same lonely and unknown shoes Craig and I did at the beginning of all of this.

I have kept putting the book off, and had to face my own fears and anxiety regarding writing it. My fears lol… I will not be able to get it published, that my way of writing would be so edited out that it would no longer seem like my style of explaining things, and I guess the common for any writer, will anyone want it?

See, my dog business I had was my life, love, and passion. I left it sitting stagnant for a few years in hopes of being able to go back to it. It never happened. I felt like a failure. I failed myself and I felt that I failed those who needed me. That has weighed on me for a very long time. I had to let go of what I worked so hard to build and how I was helping others as well as the animals. Still to this day I can’t go to buy a bag of dog food without stopping to help someone who has their dog with them, rather it’s a training tip or helping them properly fit a collar lol. I’m a pretty strong headed person, and when I set out to do something I do it with complete heart and soul, and the word failure just doesn’t fit well for me.

I lost a huge part of me when mine and Craig’s lives were thrown into a serious tailspin of mental disorders, the reality of them and financial hardships that came with them were overwhelming for me. It was completely out of both of our hands. I had no control over the outcome, no plan was working, and the damage done changed me. I started seeing fear, fear of the unknown, and fear of failing. I had reality slap me across the face, and it was not a pleasant experience. That reality made me overly cautious, avoidance came into my life, which before I would have never accepted , and it brought to light self preservation. Things that were never me or my style before. Those things have not worked too well for me either lol.

When I started this page, I believe now that it was my first step to healing myself, even though that was not the intention at all, but it’s what a small part of the results of it became. It was a huge step putting ourselves out there to the public. Reality is it was the only way to make sure we were not alone and to find answers, when everything else failed. But something very special formed, my self confidence that I can help others still, and what a huge family that has formed here… it’s just beyond words, amazing!

SO! I had to buckle down and face my own fears, I didn’t have a choice. There are too many of you asking for it, too many of you showing positive support, and man oh man those comments have not stopped over the years!

I’m here to help others, that’s the whole purpose of this page as well as my website. So I had to find a way to face my own fears of failing. I did that this past week! I realized that no matter what happens, rather the book gets published or not (and I have a backup plan if it doesn’t), rather I make a penny off of it or not… which isn’t the purpose of it in the first place, there is no possible way for it to be a failure! It’s like I posted the other day something can only be a failure if you do not try!

I NEED to write. I need to do it for you and others, I need to do it for myself, and I need to do it for Craig.

I am in a very difficult situation right now. My husband needs out of these four walls, he needs to be able to and have a reason to step out that front door, but with the ability to have a comfort level to do it. Getting a part of his life back that he misses might just be the key to helping him. I am being told by doctors, as well as others, that Craig and I use to have a life that our age group at the time just did not experience, which is true, and his disabilities have drastically changed his life as well as my own. We traveled, and I don’t mean just a day trip, I mean pack the RV or plane and head off for weeks at a time when our children were not with us or were not in school. The plane will never be an option for us again, but the RV can be a reality… it’s my goal for him as well as for us. Maybe, just maybe, a book can help with this goal. I have some obstacles to tackle and I know this won’t happen over night, but I have to try! Hopefully this can help Craig. And hopefully it will be a way to make this internet family become a little closer, in real life. Mine and Craig’s goal is to get to a point where we can meet some of you. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s a goal worth trying for and a goal for him to work towards, something that is desperately needed.

Sure I have butterflies in my stomach, but they are good butterflies. I felt I needed to tell you all this… I started writing the book last week! With every word I type more and more meaning comes with them, life comes with them. No matter where this goes or doesn’t go, there is no way of failing. So, to those of you that have asked for it, I’m working on it! 🙂

Much love to each and every single one of you! And a huge thank you for what you all have done to help myself in the process. Thank you for pushing me, thank you for the support, and thank you for being a part of our “family”! You all are awesome beyond words.

~Bec
A Spouse’s Story PTSD

 

Comments by wonderful supporters:

“We wouldn’t be harassing you to do if we didn’t already know it is going to be totally awesome!! <3 ” –Cheryl

 

“Had to share! You’re gorgeous, and if it gets you even MORE support, for both you & Craig, then GOOD!! x” -Alison

 

“You must do this. This is your gift. Nothing makes me feel happier than seeing young Caregivers taking matters into there OWN hands…you won’t fail.” -Paula

 

“Can’t wait to pre-order a few dozen copies! (Since all my good PTSD resources get “loaned” out regularly I never get just a single copy anymore)” -Judith

 

“Your words have been powerful and inspiring. Many days when I feel like I just can’t do this anymore I read your words. You have helped me in so many ways to cope. Being a spouse of a Veteran with PTSD I have lost myself as well. I struggle daily to find myself. The Artist inside me. Thank you isn’t enough. I can’t wait to be first in line to read your book.” -Krisdeann

 

“This is great. You will help so many people you will not even realize it. More people then you already.I can’t wait to read it. You’re amazing.” -Robyn

 

“You have given me and my hubby so much knowledge and hope….I knew no one with PTSD when Hubby and I met…and didn’t know where to even start….after three almost life taking episodes, and a wonderful Dr. I feel that we have a good grasp on this disease. It is ever changing and I don’t find my self on edge as much and can enjoy the day a bit more…..thank you Bec for sharing…..talking about it helps so much…” -Sandie

 

“Bec…..that is great. The book and possibly being able to go RVing once again.Your knowledge and experiences of PTSD and its journey needs to be shared for the many who so are in need of knowing there is hope, life, and a marraige can survive inspite of it. All those years many of us older spouses wondered along trying this then trying that we had no one such as you to wander to.You are an inspiration a ray of sunshine that truly needs to be shared.” -Nakiea

 

“I have only found this page a day or two ago, and I have sat here reading your blog nonstop. I can’t say that I am not surprised that so many have encouraged you to write a book. I keep having these “aha moments” after reading something by you. I can’t wait to read your book! It sounds very weird, but after reading your posts these past two days, I can imagine the future of more lighter days thanks to your words of wisdom and experience.” -Lizz

 

“Your support and inspiration gets many of us through some tough times. We are thankful for that, but a book would reach so many more. You go girl!!” -Lynda

 

“Respect and Support.” -Bob

 

“Awesome news” -Kathy

 

“Rebecca, glad to hear about your decision. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!!! Now, when you have a book signing in San Antonio, TX, I will sure come into town, meet you and give you a big hug!!” -Elizabeth

 

“Hi Bec. I love your posts and wish they would reach everyone I know to help them to understand, empathize and help to support the family through this incredible journey. I have published ebooks – some are co-authored – and can help you if you would like to go down a path towards paper-free publishing. My co-authors are elderly former vets with PTSD. They are amazing. I helped them tick something off of their bucket list which they appreciate hugely. 
Keep up the good work. “Janine

 

“You have the right attitude to make the book succeed Bec. Take it from an ex-cop who now cleans toilets for a living with no literary experience and still fighting my own battle with PTSD, the road to publishing will be full of rejection. Perseverance is in your nature by the sound of it. Don’t give up now you have made the start. It took me 4 years to get published.” -Andrew Rae, Author of Beneath The Cap

 

 

 

A note from Jerry…

I wanted to make sure everyone read this. Jerry has me in tears this morning, but with those tears is a huge smile. I am SO thankful he is here and a part of our “family”!

“I have survived some pretty awful things in my life, fought some nasty battles, some of which I saw no way to walk away from alive yet somehow I did. All that being said, this is the HARDEST battle I have ever faced.. It has not been that long ago that I was diagnosed with PTSD, before that I was doing things and taking chances I shouldn’t all in hopes of ending my life without actually doing it myself. It seemed the harder I tried to end it, the harder life in general got. I decided one day not to long ago that I had taken all I could and if I couldn’t go out in some form of self inflicted accident then maybe I needed to do it myself. I made my plan and had everything set, I came to Face Book to say goodbye so to speak to friends and family without really leading on to what I was doing, while on here a suggested page came up for PTSD as I clicked on what I thought was going to be a friends post and it opened the page. Within about 3 minutes of reading just what was in front of me I realized I may have a greater problem then just being weak in the head. I share this in hopes that someone will read this and know that there are people out here that care and you are NOT alone, if you are going through things like this and you don’t know the reason,PLEASE PLEASE reach out to someone before its to late.. As of today my family and myself are so grateful to pages like this, it truly saved my live.. Thanks for letting me share my story..” -Jerry B.

That took a lot to say! And I know it took a lot to hit that enter button. But he DID it and that was a HUGE positive step forward! I was told I could share that with all of you. And Jerry, my friend, you sharing that with us and hitting that enter button my have just saved another person’s life… thank you!

PTSD does not have to be the end of life, every single one of you CAN make it through this battle. I by no means will say it’s going to be easy, but getting help, reaching out to others, educating yourself, learning coping skills and how to manage the symptoms, and knowing there ARE people who care and you are by no means alone in this new life… those will help each of you tremendously. Life IS still worth living, and each and every one of you are worth more then you can even begin to imagine! Don’t EVER give up! 

~Bec
A Spouse’s Story PTSD

Note from Healing From Complex Trauma and PTSD/cptsd

You do such an amazing job of modelling how to be such a supportive and loving spouse to your amazing hubby. You re both doing such critical work in encouraging others how to deal with PTSD. Thank you <3 ~Healing From Complex Trauma and Ptsd/cptsd 

A Spouse’s Story PTSD

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Note from M.H.

Very thankful to you. You are making a difference in people’s lives. ~M.H.

A Spouse’s Story PTSD

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Note from S.B.

You really get it Bec, keep up the good work, we need more people with your insights and understanding in the world. ~S.B.

A Spouse’s Story PTSD

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