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PTSD an Things that help if it is new to you…

PTSD and Things that Help…

I know we have a lot of new faces on here. I want to go over something urgent regarding PTSD.

You can NOT go through this alone!!!

PTSD is something that effects not only the one with PTSD, but the family and close friends as well. I know you don’t mean for it to, you might feel like a burden on your family, you might feel like you should handle this alone and avoid others, you are probably feeling lost within yourself and just can’t find that stead ground to learn how to cope, and you probably feel really alone. This is all normal to feel!

However, there are things that can help!

* If a family member or friend reaches out to help you, let them! I know you want to suck it up so to speak and handle it yourself so you aren’t a “burden” to others, but I have to tell you something, if they are reaching out to help you then are you actually a burden to them? NO! They love you and care about you and just want to help. Learn to accept help, it will be a huge key to you getting to the best point possible you can with PTSD.

* Be honest with your doctors. Another time NOT to try to suck it up. Put those feelings aside and be honest. If the doctors know what is truly going on with you, it gives them the information they need to help you! They will know what medications and therapy will help you that fastest and get you back to a more level ground to stand on. The faster you are honest with yourself and those around you, the faster you can learn to cope. See, when you keep PTSD to yourself and you try to cope by yourself there is a good chance it will become worse or you could have symptoms that are for life and won’t get better. Getting help fast and with complete honesty is something that is urgent and can save you a lot of heartache later as well as now.

* Medications. I know, I know, we all hate taking pills! But you know what, those pills will help you focus and get to a point where you can focus on coping. Just because you might be put on a lot of meds does not mean you will have to take them for life!

Medications can be adjusted as your symptoms and coping skills change. They are what I call band aides, they are there to help and can be taken away as something heals. No, meds are not a cure but they can sure help. Being on medications does not mean you have to be a doped up zombie! The medications are there to help you function and focus. If you feel like a zombie, then talk to your doctor and tell them so they can adjust them. If you feel like your symptoms are out of control, again tell your doctor so they can adjust them. It takes time to find the right combinations and each person responds differently so there is no set formula for everyone. Understanding this and patience to adjustments is well worth it.

Make sure you take your medications!!! Some medications take 6 weeks or so before you start seeing changes in yourself. Never stop them cold turkey unless your doctor advises you to! Give them a chance to see if they will work for you and make sure you take them as directed!!! If you have memory issues, which many people with PTSD do, make a note, set an alarm, or have someone remind you to take them! But make sure you take them!

* Learn coping skills. All doctors should be teaching you these, but you can learn them on your own too! I know to start with some of the coping skills seem odd or you might think you don’t need them, but in reality they help! They can help you slow your anxiety down, control your anger, be able to focus on things you need to do, the list is endless. Coping skills can be anything from breathing exercises to meditation to all sorts of things. Do your research and ask your doctor to help you learn them. These are something you don’t have to wait to learn, you can start now!

* Spouses/SO’s. If you have someone in your life that loves you, trust them! Include them in your doctor appointments. You would be shocked how much a spouse can add to your appointments so the doctor can help you faster. It allows the doctor to know what is going on, gives them more insight from both sides, and oh if you have memory issues this could be a life saver for you in your treatment. I could not begin to tell you how many times Craig was thankful I was in the room to add in things he had not recalled or didn’t recall himself doing. Things like nightmares, talking in sleep, events that triggered him, flashbacks and what they were like, how often he has good days, accomplishments he’s made… all sorts of things that help show the big picture of what goes on with him each day. You are only given a limited amount of time at appointments, don’t waste it, a spouse can fill in the blanks and help you get the best care possible. Include them!

It also helps with things away from the doctors and helps the spouse learn with you. When everyone is on the same page things run much smoother for everyone! They love you or they wouldn’t be there, include them in this new world of PTSD as well. Learning together will help both of you.

* Educate children. You can educate children on their age level. When children grow up learning on their age level it helps them adapt to PTSD and a parent that has it. Don’t leave them in the dark! When you don’t teach them they can develop problems such as feeling the parent doesn’t love them, relationship problems, anger issues, problems in school, the list is again endless. It doesn’t mean you have to tell them exactly what you went through, children are smart and when they want to know something they will ask questions. Don’t brush them off, teach them. My daughter started learning at 3 years old, she’s a great example to use here, they are never too young to start learning, it’s just like with anything else you would teach a child.

*Try. PTSD is going to cause you to feel numb, I know that’s an aweful feeling. You feel numb to love, emotions, feelings, etc. That’s a lot to deal with when you just aren’t sure who you are anymore, then you have those feelings or lack of feelings added on top of it all. There was a doctor once that gave us the best advise I had ever heard!

“Go through the motions and the emotions will eventually come.”

WOW! If you go through the physical motions, sooner or later, even if it is for a short time or hit and miss between PTSD symptoms, you can find some of those emotions. Don’t worry about when the numb is there, focus on those motions so they can help you find those emotions when PTSD will allow them to shine through! 😉 And trust me… a spouse or loved one will be proud of the effort you try as well. It can help keep a balance even when the numbness is there.

* Rest. Don’t push yourself beyond your limits. PTSD has a way of draining you and you might not be able to keep up the pace you use to. This is OKAY! Sometimes you might need a day to just relax and take it easy, take the time to do that! A day of taking it easy leads to a day of being able to have the energy to do something else. Don’t over do it and enjoy the days that are good and energy levels are there.

These are just a few of the many things that can help with PTSD. PTSD takes time to adjust to for you and your family, take time to learn and find things that will help. PTSD does not have to be the end of life, life just changes, adapt and don’t forget that life is still worth the fight… and you are NOT alone!!!

~Bec
A Spouse’s Story…PTSD

Downloadable Free Worksheets…

I came across this link for worksheets that I think is wonderful! You can keep track of your symptoms of PTSD, Depression, OCD, moods, social anxiety, etc. etc. The worksheets are free.

These are great to have for appointments and keeping track for yourself! They can help your doctor see exactly what needs to be worked on for each session without you having to recall everything once sitting in front of him or her. Well worth doing! It only takes a few minutes each day and well worth the time!

http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/freedownloads2.htm

~Bec

A Spouse’s Story…PTSD

Making Notes or journals…

Many of you might be wondering “How the heck do I keep up with what I go through when it’s hard enough to keep up with getting through it?”

Paperwork is not something anyone likes to do! But… yep, I have a “but” in there. 😉 But keeping track, even if it’s just jotting down in a note or journal what your day was like, what symptoms you had, how you felt including how you physically felt and where you felt it, what you did or did not do that day, etc. can be of great help…

1. For yourself. It gives you a way to vent, just get it out there on paper and be able to take a good look at what your day was like, gives you a way to reflect back and make changes to the next day. Writing is a great way to cope! As well as a great way to see what you did on good days which might help you on a rough day. It also gives you a guideline to go by of what you have accomplished or want to accomplish. With PTSD the memory can be difficult and keeping notes can help you regain what you are not recalling. A way to help keep you on track and not lose those days you feel you have lost.

2. For your doctor. By having notes or a journal, it doesn’t have to be long or in depth, but the key points written down, it can help your doctor know which medications are helping or need to be altered, gives them an idea of your sleep and activities, and let’s them know which subjects need to be focused on during therapy. You only get a limited time with your doctor, so you want to get the most good out of that time you can. Having notes when you go in are very useful to making the use out of every doctor appointment. And again with memory, many people especially once sitting in front of your doctor can’t recall details of important things that need to be discussed, so this gives that information right up front and you and your doctor can get right to business on what needs to be addressed.

I make notes myself of things that effect Craig, how his week or few weeks were, good things he accomplished, and anything that he has talked to me about that could be helpful for his doctors to know so he gets the best treatment possible and the time with the doctor touches on the more urgent matters..

Just to add to this, I even call the doctors myself if I have a question about something with his care or if I see doctor assistance might be needed for something. Like yesterday, Craig wasn’t feeling well and was congested. I simply called his doc and asked what over the counter decongestant was safe to give him with the combination of medications he is on. Always play it safe and contact the doctor to make sure of something before assuming. Something as simple as over the counter meds can interact with the combinations of medications they are on, so play it safe and not sorry.

Making notes can really be of great help as well as great self-help therapy! They are important! Take a few minutes each day to do it!

~Bec
A Spouse’s Story…PTSD

To “My” Vietnam Veterans…

To “my” Vietnam Veterans,

You know, today is what I am sure a very hard day for many. And if you are reading this please finish reading it and don’t click away!

March 29, 1973… a date just a little while before my own birth, the last US combat troops left Vietnam. I know to many of you today has to be very difficult, old memories coming up of what it would be like to return home with the way so many in the country were protesting, knowing that this country sent many to war when that really was not in their cards in life, and everything else that I’m sure I could not even begin to imagine in this lifetime.

But I want to say something! YOU made a HUGE difference and impact for and on this country! My words can not even begin to express what our Vietnam Veterans mean to me! YOU have made so many changes in this world and I know coming home back then was almost if not worse then the war itself, I know the PTSD that developed from all of what you experienced, and I also know I could not begin to imagine what my personal life would be like without each and every single one of you!!!

You all paid the ultimate price but I have some serious news for you, YOU changed MY life… and for the good!

I could not imagine my life if a Vietnam Veteran had not been here to reach out a hand to me when Craig needed someone, which I know is one reason Craig is still here today. I could not imagine what life would be like for me if those Vietnam Veterans had not taken the time at the VA to sit by me, talk to me, and tell me their stories. I could not imagine my life without the Vietnam Veterans that still to this day provide me with backup when Craig has bad days. I could not imagine my life without the Vietnam Veterans that send me messages to check in on me to make sure I’m hanging in here and doing okay. I could not imagine my life without each of you!

I know the wounds to that war cuts deeper then many can imagine or even see as real. But I know something else too, because of each of you I have a wound that has been bandaged and a chance to in a different way heal. You have given me the strength, the knowledge, and the kindness of your hearts to fight this battle side by side that my husband goes through each day.

I know many of you still to this day wonder why you were the one to make it home, wonder why you are still alive now, wonder if anything will ever get better in your life, carry the guilt of war, and your head bowed down to what you went through for this country… wounds that don’t heal very well if any at all.

I know there were no welcome wagons for you back then like our troops get now, no I wasn’t here to experience… but I know your stories, I feel your pain, and if I had the power and strength to change things I would do it in a heartbeat!

See, when I say “Thank You for your service” those are not just words to me, I mean it from my heart! I mean it sincerely. YOU, our Vietnam Veterans made a change in my life, and that will be a change that I am always grateful for. I wasn’t on this earth during the war, but I sure know how you have made a change in this world, a good change! And I am not ashamed of any of you! I stand proud to call you my elders and my Heroes!!!

MY HEROES! That is exactly what you are to me! My husband might not still be with me on this earth if it were not for you and your sacrifices. Without those sacrifices history could not have changed the way it has for our current troops. I know it’s not fair to you what you have been through and still go through every day, and again if I could change that I would, but I can’t. All I can do is let you know how much I appreciate you and what you have personally done to change my life and my family’s lives.

If there is ever a Hero to me, that my friend is YOU… Our Vietnam Veterans! I am proud to have you as my elder, my friend, and my family! You do still have a mission and a very good reason to be here with all of us. Life is not something to turn away from when you have so very much to offer. YOU are worth life! YOU are what helps life in this crazy world of PTSD! YOU are what leads the next generations and helps us find a better place and ways to cope!

YOU “My Vietnam Veterans”.. I proudly claim you as “mine”… YOU are my HEROES! Raise your chin, and know that you are loved and do have the respect that you should have had years ago… you have it from me! I stand proud of YOU!!! And you will NEVER be alone!

Your strength, your stories, and kind hearts have shown me what life is about, I am forever grateful!

~Bec
“A Spouse’s Story…PTSD”

What can I do to help?…

What can I do to help my partner with PTSD or myself feel normal?

This is a question I hear a lot! We know what PTSD does and how it makes you feel, sometimes it takes you away from the reality of what is actually right in front of you. It makes it difficult on the one with PTSD, their partner, as well as other family members in the home. So what can you do? Here are a few things that I have found can help…

* Wall Calendars: I know I say this a lot! It’s because I mean it. Wall calendars are a great way to keep track of things, remind you what day it is, when your appointments are, you can note on them how your day was, how your meds seemed to work each day, birthdays or special occasions, etc. I prefer wall calendars over dry erase boards… why? Because you can’t erase! It gives you a way to keep track and be able to flip back through things that have already happened as well as to flip forward to what is coming.

* Photos: Oh what photos can do for you!!! Putting photos of happy times, smiling faces, togetherness, up around the house brings attention to how you feel or feel about someone. I like everyday snap shots, the real life not posed for photos. They show you life and a sense of what life really is and are great reminders of the true self which sometimes gets lost in PTSD. And wow can they be some great conversation pieces! I have some up of Craig and I together when we were teenagers, one of where he and I both have huge smiles on our faces and he’s bear hugging me with my feet off of the ground, one of the kids being goofy together lol… you get my point! 😉 Use those memories to help you get through the rough or un-grounded days that come with PTSD. They are NOT meant to dwell on what is lost, fact is they are there to remind you of the good in you that is just masked by PTSD.

* Speak Positively: I know things get tough when you have a loved one with PTSD, that’s normal for it. BUT when you point out the good things, talk about positive things and don’t dwell on the negative so much, that flows over to the one with PTSD. It helps keep them from worrying so much and let’s them focus on good things and not what they might view as “let you down”. Even if they don’t appear to worry about you, trust me they do! Keep things positive and it will roll over to them and helps self esteem for both of you. “Look to the good” as a always say it.

* Smile: One of the hardest things to do huh? Did you know the fact is it takes less muscles to smile then frown? And that the expression on your face can be very contagious? Seriously! If you are upset or sad all of the time, what do you think that will do to someone with PTSD? It won’t be good I can sure tell you that! If you are smiling then that lifts stress off of the shoulders of one with PTSD, by human nature it turns to “why are they so happy, what did I miss?” Smiles are contagious… use them! 🙂

* Get Outside: PTSD will try it’s hardest to hide one away inside, away from everyone and everything… don’t let it! Fresh air is good for you, sunshine is good for you, the exercise of a simple walk or venture outside is good for you. Don’t let the sun pass across the sky each day without seeing it. It helps remind you that life is there. Feel the breeze blow across your face, hear the sound of the leaves or the birds chirping, take it all in and let it help remind you that you are a part of life!

* Support: Support is urgent with PTSD! This is not a battle to take on alone, you wouldn’t take on any battle by yourself without backup so why would you try to take this one on by yourself? Rather you are the one with PTSD or the partner, support, someone to talk to is much needed. By having someone or a group of people to talk to it gives you different points of views… other ways to look at things that you might not have thought of, gives you a chance to vent when needed, gives you a chance to share good things, and gives you a sense of belonging! Belonging, humm, strong word there isn’t it! There is a lot of different forms of support in this world, use them, they do help!

* Take care of yourself: This is something that any good parent taught their child growing up. You have to take care of yourself! Make sure you do the things you have always done, eat right, take a shower, shave, do your hair and makeup, brush your teeth, and take time to relax when you need to, find a hobby, and get sleep! House work is not going anywhere and will sure be there when you get back to it. Take care of yourself and do things that make you feel good. It will also help keep your self esteem up and the way you view yourself. And don’t ever say “I don’t have time” if you have time to text, be on the computer, etc then you can make time to take care of yourself too. 😉

* Except the here and now: Don’t let the “what if’s” weigh on you! They can really bring you down and you aren’t even sure what you think will happen will indeed happen. Live today, in the here and now, and enjoy it! There are going to be rough or bad days, that’s all a part of PTSD and what it brings, but make an effort to enjoy things. Say it to yourself “Right NOW I’m going to enjoy or do …”. It might be something as simple as sitting down to have a cup of coffee, kissing your partner on the forehead, working in the garden, or I feel good today let’s get out of the house. The here and now is endless, one day at a time and one step at a time… but you can do it!

To say the least these are just a few things that can help both you and someone you love that has PTSD. Try them! Use them! Let them help bring a sense of life back and remind you that there IS still good in all of this we are all going through! “Look to the good” and let it work for you!!

~Bec
A Spouse’s Story…PTSD

PTSD vs Finding Solutions…

PTSD vs Finding Solutions

You will be shocked at some of the things PTSD will throw at you. I mean, you know and have read all of the standard symptoms that come with PTSD, but accepting them and the things that come that are not on that symptoms list, but so many seem to have in common as a result of PTSD, is sometimes, many times difficult.

The first step with anything is accepting that there is now PTSD in your life or in the life of one you love. I mean REALLY accept it! Until you face that, it’s going to be very difficult to move forward, for you or your loved one.

I know it’s hard to accept at times, and even those that do accept it will have difficulty at times, especially new things or increased changes. You know, like when you finally adjust to what is there in order for things to be better or the best they can be, then something else gets added to the mix or changes. You have to accept in order to adapt again.

I personally have heard ones say things such as:

* But this is not like him/her.
* But if I/we do that such and such could happen.
* But what about what people think or say?
* But that won’t work for us.
* But I/we tried that before and it didn’t work so why try?
* But he/she should not act that way.
* But he/she did this or that.
* But if I/we contact this person or that person…this or that will come of it
* But I have tried
* I understand PTSD but…

Do you see something here? I do. The word “but”, but what?? But it might lead you to a worse place then you are now? Really, how would you know for a fact? You don’t because that word “but” is standing in your way!

The word “but” used in the same sentence with anything related to PTSD equals an excuse. Some excuse not to try something. The word “but” equals fear of the unknown.

When you take the word “but” out of the sentence you can step forward to finding solutions.

This is when you put those facts on the table as I say it, you move forward, you take the “but” away and you work on finding a solution to whatever is going on or you are facing.

I can not begin to tell you how many times I have heard of or experienced myself someone reaching for my or someone else’s help and all I hear in return is the word “but”. Here’s one for you… “But nothing”. Stop the “buts” and start trying, try new things that could lead you to a solution of a symptom. That symptom is not going away, but you don’t stop living life because of it, you adapt and find a solution. You might even find what didn’t work well before might work now.

If you want the best, then you have to try your best. You have to accept what is before you, rather you like it or not, and find a solution to making things better. Don’t give up and don’t use the word “but” as a way around trying. Goes back to an old saying “You never know until you try”. I mean really, we are talking about PTSD here. Anything you really try can’t be a failure, even if it doesn’t work and you have to try something else. Don’t let the word “but” cut your options, solutions, and yourself or your loved one short of what could be. You and/or your loved one is better then that!

Take the “but” out and find a solution. You and/or your loved one deserves it! “Best of the Best”… that’s YOU my friend!

~Bec
“A Spouse’s Story…PTSD”

How ice can help…

Ever just want to stick your head in the freezer?

Ha and you think I’m joking 😉 Actually using ice is an easy way to help with anxiety. We were told by a doctor once that when your anxiety goes up you can stick your HANDS in ice for a few minutes and it will trigger the brain, like sticking your hands in ice wouldn’t lol. But in the process helps reduce your anxiety. The coolness to the head can also do the same thing even though I don’t think we really want to stick our head in ice. You can just stand by the freezer and let the coolness flow over your face.

Cold as well as heat can cause different effects to blood flow thus changing the reactions of your anxiety. It’s not going to cure it, but it can sure help manage it.

~Bec

 

When doors open… literally!

When the door opens…

There is something that Craig and I agreed on many years ago, so when it became known to us that PTSD is what he is battling this “thing” we set in place back when has really helped us. So I wanted to share it with all of you. I know it might not work in every situation, but it may help many of you.

See, Craig and I dated for 4 years, separated for 10, then got back together… long story short, now together for 10 years. But when we got back together we discovered that when we separated the first time it was all over a huge misunderstanding. We also couldn’t chance that happening to us again.

So this “rule” came into play, and it’s a pretty serious one. See, Craig and I know each other very well, we have a long history, and just to note… he is not physically abusive (figured I would add that before someone jumps in from that angle).

The rule is “If you walk out that door make sure you actually want to leave, there’s no coming back through it.”

I know this sounds really harsh! But the reality of it is that no matter how hard something gets, we are forced to think about that rule and really think about if that is a step we want to take and what we really want for ourselves. Would you really be better off without that person?… That person you truly love? Nope, don’t think so!

PTSD gets tough, I’m sure everyone has had a time or will have a time that they feel that walking out that door is the best thing to do. I also know that there are exceptions to this rule for many people, so not tossing those aside here by any means.

However, I think this rule has become something great for us! And also something that others can use even if you have already experienced the leaving and coming back thing. It’s never too late to start using it.

By using something like this, it opens the door for one NOT to walk out of, it forces you to face what you are going through, work on things together, find new solutions that will help, learn to cope with what PTSD brings, and realize that you are in this together and are not alone.

When you are not all worked up, not angry, not frustrated, etc, would you leave? I doubt it! If you are there, you are there for a pretty good reason. So don’t go out that door, it could cost you everything that actually means the world to you.

Sure there is more to it then that. You have to find ways to communicate with each other without arguing or fighting, you have to maybe separate yourselves to different rooms until one or both of you calm or settle down to where you can actually talk, you have to learn to talk as well as listen and really hear what is being said. There’s a lot that comes with it, but, all of that starts when you choose to stay. It can honestly start a new path to help both of you get through the tough times and find more good ones. It’s a rule that makes you stop and think.

PTSD can cause one to say many hurtful things or even act in hurtful ways. It can also cause the partner to do the same things or take things personally when it’s actually PTSD venting itself and things not really meant from the heart. But there are ways to get through it in many cases.

This door rule was something that Craig and I actually sat down and agreed upon. It wasn’t something that was just assumed or in passing mentioned. We sat and weighed the good and bad that comes with it, talked about how we would react when things did get tough, etc. It for lack of better words, forces communication.

I’m sure over the years this rule has saved us many times, everyone here knows what PTSD brings and some of it can sure end a marriage. Especially if you make choices when you are not thinking clearly or you are upset.

In all of this, you also have to remember to take care of yourself, when you do it helps you become focused and be able to make rational decisions that can help both of you, and for you to be able to make them together. PTSD will interfere in a relationship in a heartbeat, it’s what you do when it interferes that can possibly change the outcome. I could not tell you how many times I have actually planted my bottom in front of a door (knowing Craig won’t touch me of course to remove me from there), tears rolling down my face, and reminded Craig of our rule. I’ll be honest, it has happened in the past. But you know what? Me reminding him of that rule sure broke through the PTSD and he’s never walked out that door. It has always helped him get back to reality and communication would start.

It’s just something that has truly worked for us so thought I would share it. 😉 Hope it can help someone else too!

~Bec
“A Spouse’s Story…PTSD”

Avoidance? Oh that couldn’t be it… but is it?

Avoidance? Oh that couldn’t be it… but is it?

It’s Monday lol! Coffee in hand, okay second cup 😉 and thinking about getting this day started. I have this to do and that to do, and don’t forget that other thing. Oh yes… it’s the sit and “think about it”. Does that sound familiar?

PTSD brings many things, and that sure can be one of them. You think about everything before you do it, you over think at times about what good or bad could come from it if you do it, you wonder how it will effect you, will it set off a trigger, will it effect someone else, what if I fail, what if it doesn’t turn out like it is suppose to, then comes the maybe I shouldn’t do it.

Avoidance. A huge part of PTSD that is extremely difficult to get past. So many questions, so many possibilities of the outcome. Many times things get over analyzed or basing our decision on one episode! To the point we think we are better off by avoiding things.

It might be going out, going to an event, saying something, acting a certain way, or even being intimate with someone… In reality it can happen with anything!

Then there is the old standby. Remember that Popeye cartoon? Wimpy would always say, “I’d gladly pay you next Tuesday for a hamburger today”? Isn’t that kind of what PTSD does to you? You will put off something that really needs to be done today. Then you might have trouble when that day comes and the quote comes back into play again.

Avoidance. It can sure play a toll on you. Then what happens? You feel bad, or you feel like you let someone down, you feel like you are not worthy, it plays on your self esteem of not being able to accomplish things, etc. Now you are in even a worse frame of mind about yourself, that’s not good!

Sometimes, you just have to take that step. Try. You might be surprised what you can actually accomplish. There is something that works really well that a doctor told us once. Take a sheet of paper. Write down what it is, rather it’s a fear, something you want to do, etc. Then make 2 rows. In one row write what would be positive or accomplished…the facts of the situation. In the second row write the negative or the facts that could lead to a negative outcome… the facts. Everything is based on the facts. For example, “I don’t want to go on a cruise because the ship will sink.” Okay, that might very well be true, but what are the odds? Take the facts and numbers of how many incidents have in reality happened and weigh them against the unlikeliness of it happening. Odds are, you are more apt to have a good time and enjoy your trip then the likeliness of the ship sinking. You can use this method for viewing the reality on paper which can lead you past the fear to try. No, I’m not saying the fear will just disappear, we know it doesn’t, but it gives you a factually based guideline to help you do something that you would normally avoid.

Avoidance is going to be there, it’s all a part of PTSD and what you have been through and I’m by no means saying it’s not. However, sometimes in some situations looking at the facts can help you get through the avoiding feelings and help you get a little piece of life back that you thought or feel is gone. You might just find out that you are stronger then a lot of those avoiding feelings. Again, it won’t happen every time, so don’t view yourself as a failure if something doesn’t work out, but trying will make you stronger and help you find new boundaries to your limits of avoidance… as well as the limits you thought were there that you can step past, even if it’s just a small step.

Try! You might just impress yourself! 😉

~Bec
“A Spouse’s Story…PTSD”

When you just want to give up…

You know, I really put my heart and soul into what I do on this page, as well as in everyday life. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Craig and I have truly been to hell and back many times with his battle of PTSD. And to be honest, I have never regretted even one step of it I have taken with him. He is my rock, my soul mate, my love, and my best friend. I could never imagine life without him being a part of it. He completes me. As we joke, “he is the other half of every heartbeat my heart takes”.

Sometimes the battle gets hard for him. Just like with anyone else who suffers from this unseen disability, there are going to be times that it drags you down, makes you feel unworthy, makes you wonder why you are still here, makes you feel as if you have failed. Those times are tough! Those are when every ounce of energy, respect, love, support, and patience must be shown and given to help that person see the sun again through those dark clouds.

PTSD wants you to give up the fight, it drains you, it makes you feel as if you aren’t worth anything. Well I’m here to tell you, YOU are worth something, YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING, worth that is beyond what any value can be placed upon!

Don’t give up the fight! The fight is worth it! You are not alone in this battle even when you might feel you are… you’re NOT! Keep fighting the battle no matter what it brings and know you are loved and cherished. PTSD does hurt, but you are stronger then it is!

If you are having a difficult time with having the energy for the fight, lean on others, talk, contact your doctor, speak to a loved one or friend. Find something to do or a hobby, take a walk and look at the beautiful things around you, anything that can help give you strength for the battle. But don’t ever give up! YOU are worth more then that!!!!!

Why? Because I, this southern lady with a funny southern accent, who loves her crazy dog, always telling you to smile, and is just a person speaking out through my little hole on the internet… said so! 😉 So no, you aren’t alone at all! Don’t let go of hope, it’s there, hang onto it!

And to my dear husband Craig… I LOVE you babe! You ARE the half of every heartbeat I have. 😉 We will ALWAYS get through the tough times together!!! ♥

~Bec
A Spouse’s Story…PTSD