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The unfortunate passing of Robin Williams…

I did not want to address this, but there is no choice.
Too many are struggling right now.

I was planning on letting this pass, a time for silence so to speak, out of respect for the family and friends, and to try to prevent any triggers or other symptoms from rising for those with PTSD and/or Depression, as well as other mental health conditions, but with as many as I am hearing from and of, I think and hope the family and friends would understand me writing this. 

I know that the news of Robin Williams passing has been a devastation for many. People idolize him for the person he was and the talents he shared with all of us.

I know the details of the news is extremely difficult for many. I know there are many comments being made that are way out of line, not everyone understands the struggles that do in reality come with mental health conditions. I do not think it has been taken into consideration what the details of his passing as well as some of the things being said, are doing to others who suffer from depression, as well as PTSD, and other mental health conditions.

Mr. Williams was a wonderful person, a real person, that struggled through things just as many others do. Even though I never had the opportunity to personally meet him, I know many of you have and this has hit you hard. He had a kind heart, he believed in our military and did what he could to be there for them and let them know they were not alone. He also had a heart for animals and helped out making sure animals had a fair chance at life. He helped many in his lifetime. I do not know much about him personally, but I do know that he touched my life and many lives through his role as an actor. As an actor, yes he was in the spot light and his talents were beyond magnificent. But, he was still a real person and that needs to be kept in mind.

We know that suicide is very real with depression, other mental health conditions, as well as with physical disabilities. Not everyone finds that path of surviving even though they work hard every day to make it to the next.

I had a comment come to me that I could not allow to pass. I realized I cannot remain silent, I have to say something.

I heard, “If someone as famous as Robin Williams resorted to suicide (allegedly based on news) , how am I, a nobody, who’s not rich or have unlimited access to things, suppose to make it?” Unfortunately, I have heard that many people are hearing this same type of comment from a loved one.

The only thing that comes from my heart that I can say, is MAYBE Mr. Williams did not have quite the same things in life as you have or there’s more to it than we are being told (NOT implying anything negative about his family, friends, or support system)… Each and every one of us that come together each day to make sure each other does make it to see tomorrow. A place where you can take that “mask” off and talk about real life as well as the struggles it brings, and find ways together to help each other. Maybe he felt like he had to wear that “mask” too often for too many. I really do not know, and none of us will ever know. Robin Williams will never be forgotten. 

What I do know is we have each other! We have the ability to share the good as well as the bad things that life with mental health conditions does bring. We have the ability to share those things with others who understand and may be facing the same struggles. We have the ability to openly talk about life. And, we have the ability to let others know they are not alone. There are many in this world that do suffer from some sort of mental illness or disorder.

When I call this page a “family”, I mean it. That is exactly what this little space on the internet is, it’s a loving and caring family that is world wide. It’s a place that stigma does not exist and we turn to each other and lean on each other.

YOU have something that not everyone with mental health conditions has found yet… others that can relate and do know what this life is like firsthand. Too many out there are still silent and trying to manage things on their own (not saying this is the case with Mr. Williams, just speaking in general), they need to know they don’t have to walk through this life alone.

Through the struggles that you may be having this week, PLEASE remember that you are NOT alone! PLEASE reach for help, use a crisis hotline number if you need someone to help you through this time. PLEASE contact your doctor. PLEASE use your support system and those that are there for you!

We all lost a wonderful person this week that has touched many of our lives in different wonderful ways. Let’s work together to make sure no more wonderful people are lost. YOU ARE IMPORTANT!!! And YOU ARE SOMEONE! Someone that does matter!

To those of you who do not understand mental health conditions, I hope you take the time to learn and learn what real life with these conditions are like, to the best as possible. People with mental illnesses or disorders really are not weak. They are the ones that struggle through each day to become a survivor, and work hard to make life the best it can be. YOU can help save a life, just simply by learning and helping reduce stigma, and by just simply being there for others.

Much love to each and every single one of you. And our thoughts go out to Mr. Williams family and all who personally knew him.

Love,
Bec
A Spouse’s Story PTSD :FaceBook

A Spouse’s Story PTSD :Website

To start the day off, I want to share some GOOD news!

To start the day off, I want to share some GOOD news!

A few days ago I asked all of you for back-up help, for one with PTSD that was really struggling that reached out to me, and I wanted to show her that she was not alone and there were many people here for her.

I received a message last night, and wanted to share this with you. I was told that with my intervention (not giving up on her and talking as long as it took) and all of the support she got from the “family” here, saved her life. I was told that if it had not been for all of us, she would not be here alive today.

BUT, she’s not here with us right now… She did contact her doctor and has accepted inpatient treatment. She was able to get one message to me, thanking all of us for honestly saving her life. She sounded very positive!  And said she will miss us while she is away, and miss our coffee time in the mornings, but she will be back once she gets out of the hospital.

So, I want to thank ALL of you for helping out and being here for each other. TOGETHER we are stronger! You proved that this past week. THANK YOU! YOU helped save one of our own! 🙂

 Love, Bec
A Spouse’s Story PTSD

Okay, call this a vent if you would like lol…

Okay, call this a vent if you would like lol…

(And this is NOT a debate and will NOT turn into a debate! We don’t need examples, the examples are already well known.)

I have been sitting here reading through postings on other pages, I also know what happened after a few postings of my own yesterday. There is something I just don’t get, don’t understand, and know I never will because it’s not the way I think or who I am!

How can anyone feel their “entitlement” is greater then another human beings?

My husband is a Veteran. I have family members who are paramedics, firefighters, police officers, and many family members and friends in other lines of work outside of a uniform, and I am a caregiver. When it comes to help, how is one person’s “entitlement” greater then another’s? IT”S NOT! If someone needs help, they deserve it!

My own story may be based around my husband being a Veteran and myself being a Veteran Caregiver, but that does NOT mean I have to limit the help and support I provide here to others.

When you limit yourself based on a uniform, line of work, or even age/era, you are missing the big picture. There are many people who need help/support as well as can offer help/support.

If you are one that chooses to limit yourself and/or your resources, that is your choice and I will respect that. However, do not think I am going to limit myself or this page. I stand strong, on solid ground, that the more people that stand together in this world of PTSD, the stronger we ALL will become!

Bottom line, “Together we stand or divided we fall”.

That is my belief, I have a right to it, and it has proven itself.

Just something to really think deep about. 

~Bec
A Spouse’s Story PTSD

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY “A Spouse’s Story PTSD”!…

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAYA Spouse’s Story PTSD“!

Three years ago today something very special happened, the birth of this page! Which has grown into a wonderful family, support system, and friendships have formed… even those who have not met each other from around the world!

Each day we meet here for coffee, or tea 😉 and we share parts of our lives with each other, the good, the bad, and just life itself. All with the same reasons… having others to talk to that understand, learning as well as teaching others, and just simply knowing that we are not alone in this world of #PTSD.

I am so thankful for every single one of you that are here with us. As good as I am with words, words can not be placed on the powerful strength this page has become. I never dreamed when I started this page, that it would grow into something so meaningful, and beautiful. Each of you are a part of that, each of you we consider as our “family“.

We all know that life with PTSD is not the easiest thing in the world, and can be a true roller coaster ride at times, but when people come together like everyone has here… PTSD just does not stand a chance! 😉 It’s not going away but we all sure have a huge support system to help each other understand and find things that can help. We have of support system of many hearts and many intelligent minds, and we work together to make life the best it can be. You ALL are awesome!!!

With every comment or email I receive, telling me how the words written helped one personally, helped a relationship or family, or saved a life that thought there was no other option but to give up… I see how important this family is here, I feel it, and I can not express how grateful I am to and for each of you. As much as you say my words help you, you need to know that you help me/us as well! It does go both ways! 

So before I get sappy here lol 😉

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to THIS FAMILY!

If you know someone who is struggling, or needs an extra support system, another place to learn or to bring a little more understanding about PTSD and life with or beside it. Please invite them to join us here. NO ONE deserves to feel like they are alone!

~Bec
A Spouse’s Story PTSD

 

Happy birthday and thank you for all the knowledge that you give us.” -Amy

Thank you Bec, for all you do for us” -Dede

Happy 3rd birthday! This page has been a God send!!” -Lynda

Wow! I didn’t realize you were barely an infant when I joined. What a blessing you and this group have been in my journey of trying to understand PTSD and why things are the way they are! God bless you, A Spouse’s Story PTSD, Becky, Craig and family.” -Carole

Thank you, everybody…especially to Bec…you help me understand me better…” -Joe

Thank you for EVERYTHING!! You have taught me so much about PTSD. 10 years ago my husband was diagnosed with chronic and severe ptsd…I didn’t know what that meant. What do I do? We have been married for almost 30 years, and I didn’t want to lose him. You have been my savior, my support, my everything. Thank you, keep up the good work.” -Laurel

Thanks so much! Very helpful and encouraging!” -Dakota

Thank you, I appreciate what you are doing.” -Bob

 

 

Looking back on 2013

Recap of 2013… Back at the beginning of the year I announced that this was going to be a very trying year for us. We had a long list of special events mixed in with the usual tough times that come. WOW, was I right! But you know what? We made it through and a new year is getting ready to start!!! Of course the new year already has some serious things coming, like Craig’s surgery this week. BUT, if we could make it through 2013 we will for sure make it through 2014! 😉

In 2013:

My oldest turned 18 AND we made it through his high school Graduation!

My daughter and step-son turning 13! Yes, we accomplished a girl’s birthday party here… with many breaks during it lol 😉

(Craig said I HAD to add this one or he would add it lol) I turned 40!

Craig and I had our 10 year wedding anniversary… we chose to not do anything, being together was enough for us 🙂

We made it out of town for a few hours so I could be in my sister’s wedding on the beach! And Craig did well as a cameraman 

I started writing my book (Thank You to “My Elder” Dean  and ALL of you!!!)

Miss Marble (the cat) came into our family.

AND that emergency bathroom remodel lol… It’s almost done! A great way to start the New Year with that off of my plate! 😉

We did not accomplish everything that was on the list for the year, however we accomplished a lot considering how life is with PTSD and everything else! 

There was one other thing that I personally accomplished this year. Let’s see if I can type this without crying happy tears. Everyone knows that I have struggled with not being able to train dogs anymore, a true love of mine. One of those weights on my shoulders that just always tried to keep a grip on me. HOWEVER, that changed this year! You know how I always say listen to what other’s say? Well, I had a light bulb moment not too long ago from a very special person. I want to say a special Thank You to Beth P. for making me realize that I am actually doing exactly what my original life dream/goal was!

My life goal from an early age was not to train dogs (even though I love it and always have), my life goal was to follow in my mom’s footsteps and help children and young adults with mental disabilities learn that they are valuable no matter what and to teach them how to make it through life with having disabilities. I wanted to teach.

See, I had a trauma happen to me at 18 years old that caused me to alter my life plans, I took a different route in life after it, I avoided my dream. My husband and his mental illnesses and ALL of you changed my avoidance and got me back on the path that originally filled my heart.

My goal might be altered a little, age group, and not as a certified teacher… but I AM living my life dream, helping others! Right here with and beside ALL of you! I hope each of you really, truly understand how much you ARE a family to us! 

I did not fail with dog training or by having to give it up to care for my husband at all. The page in my life had turned, and I accepted that a long time ago. But I was honestly being placed back to where my heart really has been all along and didn’t even realize it! I opened my eyes, heart, and dream to what has always mattered to me. Some how with one short conversation Beth and I had, the weight was gone from my shoulders completely of not being able to train and a huge extra kick was put into my step. I had never really viewed it before as I do now. I have been bringing awareness of PTSD and other mental illnesses to others for over two years, living beside and through mental illnesses with my husband for 10 years. Yes, it’s safe to say I had a light bulb moment this year. 

So, I would have to say even though some things were not accomplished this year, a whole lot of wonderful things were! And you all… you are each SO amazing! Don’t EVER give up on yourself! 😉

Much love and strength to ALL of you as we step forward to a New Year together!

~Bec
A Spouse’s Story PTSD

What do you do when a dear friend is diagnosed with PTSD?

What do you do when a dear friend is diagnosed with PTSD?

You simply remind them that PTSD does not change the way you feel about them, it doesn’t change the way you view them, they are still your friend and it just means they need you now to be the friend you have always been, unconditionally. They can still make you laugh and they can still be there when you cry, and you for them too. They are still a special person that friends and family love dearly and my goodness where would this world be without them!

It might mean they need a little more of your time, but time is just something on a clock that you don’t have to sit and watch pass by. It might mean they need you to listen a little more before giving your input or sometimes just being that ear, nothing wrong with that either. It might mean they have rough days when they don’t want to talk or see anyone, we all have those days, so that’s okay too. They might be the one that was the supporter and now might need a little support of their own, I don’t see a problem there either. It means that when you see their chin drop down you smile and remind them to pick it back up.A dear friend, is a dear friend through thick and thin, nothing will ever change that. So don’t ever forget that.Yes, this is to all of you, however this is to a special friend of mine and Craig’s…you know who you are. ;)SMILE our friend! It will be okay…you have friends! 😉 We’ve got your back too!!! :)~Bec

A Spouse’s Story PTSD

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