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We will see what today holds.

We will see what today holds. 

Yesterday Craig had a migraine… and a doctor’s appointment. So handling those were what our day consisted of. He was physically sick all weekend after over-doing it on Friday, trying to get outside more to tinker on the boat. You know how it goes, one good day step forward then three steps/days back. But that’s okay!! He made great effort and that is what counts!Proud of him. 

You all know the first day we actually get the boat to water I will be posting photos and you will hear the excitement! I think this boat may really help him, and our family, get a sort of small part of life back that we lost so long ago. Small steps we are bound we will get there no matter what it takes!

Well, as of late last night we read there seems to be a new game plan going into place that we actually have not been told about yet. Yeah, nothing like reading doctor notes before the doctors inform you lol. From the sounds of it our boat may actually work well into this plan, we are a few steps ahead of the docs already I think.  I guess that simply means we are already on the right path.

Neurology is working on the migraines in hopes of reducing them some. It’s been so many years of him having 2-4 per week along with additional headaches, and the migraines laying him up, anything would be a great help at this point! Craig tries really hard to be active, but between the multiple migraines then being drained from them, then throw in #PTSD… well it is honestly extremely difficult and a challenge. BUT we will never give up! 

I did get a straight answer yesterday. Not really what I wanted to hear but we don’t always hear what we want to. I asked again if Craig having west nile virus when all of his medical conditions seemed to start, had any hand in his cognitive dysfunction and memory issues. The answer… We will never know. Seems from what I have been told (and Craig said I could share), that because spinal fluids were not taken at the time west nile was discovered in his blood that there is not a way of knowing if it has long term effects on his brain. So, basically it is being assumed that his medical conditions are all psychological related (PTSD, Depression, and anxiety). There’s no real answer. I was told however that west nile was the trigger (or one of, we know the ship was another) which brought PTSD “out of it’s box” Craig had been able to keep it in. So it basically set PTSD symptoms in motion that he could not cope with.

You know, no matter what the doctors say or don’t say, do or don’t do, Craig and I have made great effort to get him to the point he is today with the challenges disabilities have brought to our lives. That effort will never stop. I will never lose hope and we will always continue trying to improve our lives. Craig reading that report last night was really damaging to him, as well as myself. It was kind of in a way from what he read to me, saying this is it, there’s nothing more we can do, work on becoming social again, find some support (I really don’t understand that one with the huge family we have here on this page as well as our family), and we will check back with you at a later date. It just seemed to contain things that lack a huge realistic understanding of us, who and how we are, and what life in reality is like. Today is a new day and I refuse to let someone else’s lack of understanding our reality keep us down… that just would not be us. 😉

SO… here’s to a new day for all of us! Chins up, force that smile, and taking another step forward.  We are so thankful to have all of you as a positive part of our lives!

A Spouse’s Story PTSD

Let me tell you a story…A VERY special “group” of people.

As much as we all know that PTSD can affect anyone and is not only military related, I have to touch on the military for a second and you will understand why when you read this. 😉

There is a very special “group” that is dear to my heart. Without them I have no idea where Craig and I would be right now! So let me tell you a story….

There was a day when Craig had a very serious migraine, he couldn’t hear, couldn’t see, rolled around in pain and couldn’t get to his feet. This was during the time that we were still waiting on the VA to get him in the system and I was lost at what to do. I looked up and saw our neighbor walking by and ran out for help. This was an older gentleman, he walked with a cane and was not doing too well, but one that talked to me every day as he passed.

He told me that I could take Craig to the VA’s ER and they would take him in even though we were still waiting for official appointments. That man, who could have said nothing at all, was the man who sent me in the right direction for getting my husband help that day. The ER doc got Craig into the system that day and the road to help started for us.In days to follow, and still to this day, we spent much time at the VA. There were many times I would be sitting in the hallway alone. But, I never sat alone for long. There was always someone that would sit down beside me and start a conversation. The question was always asked, “What is wrong with your husband?” And I would reply not knowing their response, “The docs are saying PTSD.”From there I have heard many stories over the years now. Every person who took the time to sit beside me would ask if I minded them sharing their’s with me. Every time I would reply with I don’t mind at all. And when they finished talking they would tell me thank you. Thank me? I would smile at them and chuckle, no, thank YOU!One gentleman told me, “Young lady you just don’t understand. You listening to me has helped me.” I smiled and said, “But what you don’t realize is you have also helped me.”See, every story that I took the time to listen to worked in a two fold. I helped them by simply listening and talking to them, but they greatly helped me by teaching me what to understand.

Who am I referring to? Our Vietnam Veterans!!!

Every single one of those people I talked to, the neighbor that helped us out so much, all Vietnam Veterans! I know and understand what I do today because they took the time, not only to serve our country, but to help me learn and understand. I listened and took to heart every word they spoke and advise they had to offer. And yes, I THANK them (YOU)! I would not be the person I am today, our family may not have survived this new normal, if you had not taken the time for me! My “elders” as you will hear me refer to them as, ARE my heroes! THANK YOU!!!!! 🙂



I want to start this journal of mine by saying “Welcome” to everyone! My name is Rebecca also called “Becky or Bec” by my family and friends. This is my little part of the world where I can share what life is like living beside PTSD chronic, Depressive Disorder (formally diagnosed as Conversion Disorder), and other disabilities. I’m not a doctor or in any medical field, I’m “just” a spouse 😉 . No one ever expects life to turn out certain ways, especially when mental illnesses become a part of it, but my family is living proof that even with these illnesses involved life does NOT end. It takes learning, coping skills, educating, and adjusting …but life DOES still exist 😉

My husband served proudly for this country of red, white, and blue …and asked for nothing in return. The result…he suffers from these illnesses which effect his everyday life. You know what, he would do it all again for each and every one of us! I stand proud of him and always will. Together we chose to no longer remain in the shadows and silent. Instead, we do share our life story in hopes it will help another individual or family make it through another day and to even be able to carry a smile with it 🙂 NO ONE deserves to stand alone!

See, PTSD and other mental illnesses do not pick a nation, skin color, adult or child, they are not only military related, and do not choose an age. My belief is it does happen to what I call “the best of the best”, the strong ones. I have found that in the world of PTSD you will find the most understanding, compassionate, and caring people that would give you the shirt off their own back if they could. I find it sad that these very people are the ones judged and carrying the stigma that goes with mental illnesses/disorders. They didn’t ask for this to happen, just as a person fighting cancer or one whom has lost a leg did not ask for it, it just happens.

YOU being here and reading this is a huge step no matter where you stand on the subject. You might be the one suffering from it, the spouse/partner, the parent, the child, the relative, the friend, the one that is just curious, or even the one that does not believe it exists. Fact is, you are here and that means something to the world. TOGETHER each and every one of us CAN make it through life living with or beside PTSD… 🙂

I Welcome you to my story, our story… “A Spouse’s Story…PTSD”,